waiting on the passing of time

 Some days, you don't want days to end. You want to stick with weeks as long as you can. We only get a defined amount of time in this world, and so weeks, days, hours are important to savour.

-but dear god, can this week go faster? 

It's not a bad week. Not one of those weeks where everything is wrong, so you want it to end. It's instead one of those weeks where I am waiting on news. Big news that if I even talk about outloud to myself, I might jinx it, so I have to keep it in and just wait.

I'm out of my skin. I've been drawing a lot just to do something with my hands because I can't concentrate on anything more daring, but I need something to occupy the space.

It's been over a week in this state. Every day, I stare at my inbox, clicking through trash mail and coupon codes, refreshing as if that even makes a difference.

I can't talk about it becuase It will jinx it. I can't think about it too hard, or I'll get excited. I can't plan even though I want to becuase what if and what if not.

My best friend doesn't even know, I never keep things from her, but not saying it outloud means I might have a chance.

Anyway criptic shit aside, I'm gonna go draw again.